the lingy you know?

2012-02-01T15:10:00.000+08:00

Slept 16hours last night, from 2000 to 1230. Hibernation.

Had a nasty flu and fever of 39.7deg alongside with minor ailments. Didn't know it was this bad till I measured it after my night shift.

First in history that the DR had no qualms about giving me 3 days mc. 2 days would have been sufficient I think.

Okay, I shall hibernate again.

30-01-2012' fevering

2012-01-30T23:07:00.003+08:00

I'm badly dehydrated with all the tears and sweat. I'm burning and over-heating. The strepils didn't help much in suppressing my cough either.

I have to confess that Ma Maison's Tonkatsu has made it worst. I'm a happy glutton :)

＜步步惊心＞

2012-01-30T00:42:00.002+08:00

＜步步惊心＞真是让人看了久久难以抽身，在脑海里荡气回肠。虽有因必有果，但事物变逝可你我能控制。既来之，随安之。

剧中的文彩可不是今日的俗人所能驾驭。这让晚辈愧疚，自叹不如。

22-01-2012`＜拜金女王＞!

2012-01-22T10:20:00.003+08:00

11 hours marathon through ＜拜金女王＞!

And the aftermath,

32 pcs! Down to the last piece in my tissue box!

Now I have to work up something to jumpstart my weekend. Though I'd probably continue to watch on local channel again. :)

17-01-2012'步步惊心

2012-01-17T19:59:00.003+08:00

＜步步惊心＞ is nice! The mischievous princess replica of ＜环珠格格＞! But better with a modern touch.

For once, I'm so glad that the 7pm slot is not of local production!

2012-01-15T19:16:00.001+08:00

＜拜金女王＞ is what I look forward every weekend! Its great to have something to look forward before the start of a new week. The drama series brought tears to my eyes!

08-01-2011` Turning 25. Batam Trip.

2012-01-08T18:10:00.003+08:00

I'm 25!

If Mayan legends are true, this would be our last birthdays. Make a blast for all birthdays this year!

*
Batam famed for an island of mistresses for retired sg uncles proved to be true.

But the Balinese message is awesome. My joints cracked at the right place which relieves the tension built up over years of parafunctional bending over in my course of work.

**
Cheers to Jay Yeo who turned 25! Celebrated his birthday at Grand Corpthorn Waterfront. We had a good time laughing, drinking and playing lame games.

The once familiar CTE looks so different. The scattered memory fragments reminds me of the broken past, resonance my failure.

Chapter close. I'm glad I'm happier now. :)

2012-01-04T21:36:00.003+08:00

Happy 2012 everyone!

My colleague is so cute! She's counting down to my birthday whenever she sees me! Today she told me, 5 days more to, 24 or 25 years old!

There was once, my patient asked me how old is my brother. I paused awkwardly for 2 minutes, then I turned to him, flashing a silly smile, uh, 'Sorry, I forgot how old am I this year. I need to calculate for my bro by adding 3 years to my age'

HAHA

25-12-2011` Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T23:50:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas to all!

The spirit and joy of sharing and giving is scouting a gift with in mind what the receiver would need and appreciate the most. Nothing beats the grateful smile from the receiver that he/she is remembered in the preparation!

I was awed by the boy's gifts! Like the Givenchy towels from SX amazed me,'Every time when you wake up in the morning and wash up with the towel, you'll remember me!' Innovative dude!

Joe and I shared similar sense in picking presents (for others and to each other). And he knows I like Rilakkuma!. Tuckwei's ergonomic mouse will come in handy.

If getting a gift is a mere chore to fulfill a task, you've missed out the fun!

Being with my friends and staying at Capella have made this the best Christmas I had.

Oh, I just goggled and realised the rate for Capella Suit avg per night is SGD1050!

18-12-2011' Haircut

2011-12-18T20:02:00.002+08:00

I remembered telling Ying one afternoon that this hair length is by far the longest I had. And in the later part of the day, my hairstylist chopped off about 8cm of my tresses.

He showed me an estimate of length that has to go to keep the shape in place. My jaw dropped while the blades at work. But boy, I'm glad I believed him, it turns out well.

Nobody noticed the change though. One thing for sure, It's way easier to wash my hair now.

01-12-11` The long forgotten update.

2011-12-01T15:02:00.006+08:00

A red iPod nano makes a good running buddy!

The RED nano is only available online. It is part of (PRODUCT)RED* Program to help fight HIV in Africa.

*
I don't remember myself as being '24, turning 25'. When it comes to the questionnaires or surveys where age input is required, I have the tendency to write 22 or 23. Then comes to strike off the numbers and write again. Subconsciously, I am denying I'm aging.

**
I'm plumping, again. Good food and lack of motivation to exercise. Maybe a Chanel dress of size 8 can get me to run. I'm afraid of the weighing scale now, the thought of steeping onto it and see the needle springs to '60' taunt me.

***
The recent promotion of Batam 2 day 1 night is enticing me. Seafood, Polo Ralph and Factory outlet entices me. I ought to take one of the weekends and declare a short holiday. Probably in Jan next year.

It had been 11 days since my break in KL, a business trip so called. And 92 days since my vacation in Taiwan. It feels like ages.

22-11-2011` Christmas 2011!

2011-11-22T18:23:00.005+08:00

Christmas mood is in the air!

In a recent survey, Christmas beaten other festival hands down among Singaporeans. I'd think that Halloween is catching up!

'I have been a good girl Mr Santa. Can you give me a ride to on your way home to Finland?

*

Pretty in RED. Engrave with a POW statement. Awesomeness.

16-11-2011' To study or not to study?

2011-11-16T11:42:00.002+08:00

I had been thinking, to go back to studies. But having a 3.35 GPA can't get me into good schools.

I would be 29 when I graduated. That means I wouldn't be entitled maternity benefits if I were to get married and deliver before 30.

Bad timing.

16-10-11' Blissful Marriages

2011-10-17T00:12:00.001+08:00

It had been a whirlwind of feelings to see friends posting wedding pictures. Primarily excitement. Another phase of life!

*
It's ironic to go back to books after scavenging in the society for so long- just when your friends are all geared and ready to conquer the world after university.

I'm late!

I couldn't imagine studying, working and getting married all happening together! Lest I hadn't gotten any wedding invitations while I was studying.

02-10-2011` West Highland Terrier

2011-10-02T16:20:00.002+08:00

I love how Westie wags his tail!

26-09-11` Daruma Doll

2011-09-26T22:44:00.004+08:00

Legend has it that Daruma Doll helps to fulfill your wish.

Background on Daruma:
Remodeled after Bodhidharma who is believed to have been born as the third son to a king in South India. He then, following the instructions of his old master, left his kingdom to live in China. He immediately gained a reputation for, among other things, his practice of wall-gazing. Chapin mentions that the legend also claims that he sat facing a wall in meditation for a period of nine years without moving, which caused his legs to fall off from atrophy. Another popular legend is that after falling asleep during his nine-year mediation, he became angry with himself and cut off his eyelids to avoid ever falling asleep again. His discarded eyelids are said to have sprouted the first tea plant.

Shape
Darumas are still usually made of papier-mâché, have a round shape, are hollow, and weighted at the bottom in a way that it will always return to an upright position when tilted over. In Japanese a roly-poly toy is called okiagari. meaning to get up (oki) and arise (agari). This characteristic has come to symbolize the ability to have success, overcome adversity, and recover from misfortune.
Due to this, Daruma is often illustrated alongside the phrase "Nanakorobi Yaoki", translated to mean seven times down, Eight times up. This is seen in the popular culture on cards, banners, and books. One example of this is Dr Alan Gettis' Book entitled, "Seven Times Down, Eight Times Up: Landing on Your Feet in an Upside-down World". Recalling the Story of Daruma-san in the introduction of his book, Dr. Gettis describes the phrase as "a call to never give up."

Eyes
A daruma doll with one eye filled in for wishing.
The eyes of Daruma are often blank when sold. Monte A. Greer, author of Daruma Eyes, described the "oversized symmetrical round blank white eyes" as a means to keep track of goals or big tasks and motivate them to work to the finish. The recipient of the doll fills in one eye upon setting the goal, then the other upon fulfilling it. In this way, every time they see the one-eyed Daruma, they recall the goal. One explanation how this custom started says that in order to motivate Daruma-san to grant your wish, you promise to give him full sight once the goal is accomplished. This practice might also have something to do with the "enlightenment", the ideal attainment of Buddhism. This custom has led to a phrase in Japanese translated as "Both Eyes Open". Referencing to ‘opening’ the second eye, it expresses the realization of a goal. Traditionally, the Daruma was purchased as a household, and that only the head of the household would paint in the eyes.

If you're at dire state, pray. Calvin and I were at our wits end for our missing passports when we had to pin our last hope on our Daruma Doll which we bought from Japan last December. We were dead worried to know that we are only a month's time away from our overseas trip, so in order to avoid reporting loss of passport and spending SGD130 each, we decided to use our only Daruma Doll. We drew an eye on the Daruma Doll and made our wish. 2 weeks prior to departure to Taiwan, we managed to miraculously found our passports! As said in the legend, you draw the right eye first when making your wish and the Daruma Doll will be motivated to grant your wish so that he could have his full vision when the mission is accomplished and you fill in his left eye. Call me superstitious, but this works!

Testing post on blogger app

2011-09-14T21:31:00.001+08:00

Trial run

4-9-2011`Taiwan 2011

2011-09-04T10:34:00.006+08:00

Alfresto Gusto Italian, a new hideout place found by courtesy of Shixing. He knows good food, beer, wine, ambiance and service. The pizza came in my favorite thin curst on a chopping board! The boding among our wolfpack has grown stronger with our new recruits. Having that said, I hope we hadn't scare them off!

*
The Taiwan trip has been great. We made it back in one piece despite the rampaging typhoon. Things weren't that bad actually, in Taipei, strong gusts of wind and accompanied bolts of rain. It was the news we watched which scare us nuts with all the footages of provinces flooding and netizens emergency evacuation.

We went to Keelung for seafood and that has to be the area most significantly affected by the typhoon in our trip, given its geographical location along the coastal shore. We were at a bus shelter with a mum and 2 young kids. 1 of the elder boy, about 6 years old, kept asking his mum, 'Is this typhoon rain?', and his younger brother, 3 years old, busy waving his hands to be his wiper, trying to stimulate the car screen wiper. We were amused rather than being terrified in our first encounter of natural disasters at works in a foreign country.

Flying Cow Ranch is another new experience. The traveling time of 2.5 hrs per trip has been whats keeping me back from visiting. As this trip is incredibly short, we have to be prudent in time management. I'm glad we made the trip down though because the sense of connection to nature is unparalleled to any amount of shopping in the urban. Urban kids ought to see, know, feel the animals which estranged from us since decades ago when kampongs went into history. The tamed animals wouldn't feel threatened but instead, hovers around where the crowd is because they relate humans to food source.

Calvin loved the food there, in contrary of hard acceptance as I would expect. The best food I had has to be Braised Pork rice and Mee Sua. Awesome!

I'm in the process of sorting out the pictures. Its gonna take awhile though ;)

2011-08-20T12:29:00.002+08:00

Went to HDB with my parents regards to house loaning.

I wouldn't expect to shoulder a housing loan at 24 years old, unless I were to get married and ballot for a new flat. But drastic scenarios calls for drastic measures.

This is when I am glad I hadn't taken up a degree, because I need money in my CPF right now.

16-08-11` DDR PS3

2011-08-16T13:52:00.004+08:00

Pardon my sleepy face. It was taken past 10pm and after a fun-filled day with lots of walking, shopping, price finding.

I was expecting more but, well, its still a good game afterall.

*
10 days more to go before TW trip!

**
The Disneylands worldwide:
1. California
2. Paris
3. Tokyo
4. Hong Kong

I want to see all Disneylands!

2011-07-30T17:57:00.002+08:00

I was happy to be able to attend Jing's convocation. The youthful atmosphere of an instituition makes me crave to be a student again. It's awesome to be surrounded by positive vibes.

I admire people who knew what they want, who dare to correct the wrong step they took. I wouldn't have such courage, for one to admit I've wasted 3 years to get this diploma, two, spending another 4 years working in this industry and three, adventurous for a change.

I'm messed up in my wiring. I wished I wouldn't involve lifelong decision making and things could be simpler like when we were in pre-school, going by the alphabets or formulas and it'll escalate you through to success.

19-7-11` fever

2011-07-19T18:34:00.003+08:00

My fever is burning at 39 degrees at its peak and hovers around 38.5 degrees. I couldn't sleep around 3-4am last night, only managed to scrawl into slumber after I sponged my face and broke out in a sweat.

I have bad muscle cramps, due to the lactic acid built up from the previous run and the fever is making it worse.

My throat swells up, causing pain whenever I swallow.

The 'special' instructions from the quirky doctor among all:
Finish gargling hypochloride solution (ingredient in home washing bleach)

No exposure to fan or aircon
No spicy or heaty food, e.g. chocolate, durians
No sour food, e.g. orange juice
No crunchy food, e.g. crackers
No bathing and shampooing

May everyone is in pink in health, especially my mum, who is celebrating her birthday today.

18-07-11'

2011-07-18T18:17:00.002+08:00

I ran 5 rounds last night and I can barely walk by today evening.

It's amazing how much my body mass has converted into fats tissue since my last run.

2011-07-15T13:35:00.001+08:00

Calvin will be going for reservist for a week. I'll forget my sunblock lotion, perfume in the morning and I'll miss his honey drink.

:(

25-6-11' SLR Rookie

2011-06-25T17:15:00.003+08:00

Now that I believe things happened for a reason.

I wouldn't have gotten my driving license under the involuntary pressure.

I wouldn't know that I was unable to dictate how the path of two will led. Even if I was ascertain.

I wish I wouldn't or hadn't know so much.

*
Everything about SLR is cool, except for the weight. The mammoth sized plastic propels me to think twice before bringing it out on trips.

Oh, and you can't take self portraits or couple shots, that is with you trying nth attempts and still ultimately fail.

2011-06-24T13:40:00.002+08:00

I fell from escalator a week earlier and grazed my leg. I hope it doesn't leaves any scars!

*
I dreamt that I was bonded to HPB for another 3 years. The thought of returning and mockings from the aunties woke me up. Boy, I was sure scare the shit out!

2011-06-15T15:44:00.000+08:00

I hope iPhone can post pictures on blogspot. :/

2011-06-07T20:02:00.002+08:00

It was 2am after our movie when I saw Mr Philip and Mdm Rebecca the other day at Nex Fairprice.

I hid away. Cal was already near the checkout with 8 bottles of 1.5L in his basket, and he was stunned when I froze and took an immediate u-turn.

What was I hiding away from?

I was afraid that they didn't drove here alone.

2011-06-02T22:31:00.002+08:00

I should be happy.

The thing is, why am I using 'should'? It would have been definitive.

Why am I landed in such a foreign place? To somewhere I don't feel like belonging to?

It's like you were upgraded from Windows xp to Mac and now degrading to Windows again. You forget that the window exit button is on the right hand side and you kept sliding your cursor to the left only to find that it's at the other side.

I like Mac better.

2011-05-31T23:00:00.000+08:00

Impulse to learn french.

2011-05-30T13:19:00.004+08:00

I am filled with uncertainty as I serve my last few days at work.

Just as I have enough to vex over my plate, my dad kicked up a ruckus. He has been expecting alot from his children but I don't remember expecting alot from him as a father. It seems like whatever we do were never sufficient to please him. He rattled on, it's useless to raise us up. Not on one or two occasions but as a constant quote when he flared up. This is only a pie from a whole but it's bad enough. I know where my negative genes came from.

From young, we do not have toys good enough to play with, let alone to show off to friends. A big box of legos was what he bought for us. Maybe a remote control toy car for my brother? But that pretty much sums up all.

He doesn't interact with us, or even ask us 'have you learnt your spelling?', 'when are your exams or are they over?'. Hilariously, he can forget how old we are now. He'll accuse us when his things goes missing, like newspapers, or beat the pulp out of my brother when he couldn't find his caliper he misplaced. As a rowdy pair of kids who often jostle with each other, if we were unfortunate and woke him up, we would be whipped badly without a doubt.

I did not travel till I was 15 years old, when I took my first flight to Penang. I had 2 trips to Genting and period. I vowed to see the world by myself, to relish my deprievation since childhood.

I had a make-over for my room by slamming my 1.5 year end bonus. Why? Because he said that everything from the house was from his money. It doesn't take a genius to guess what he'll do next, I'll have the street as my bed and sky as my sheets.

23-05-11' UFOs Toy Story

2011-05-23T13:43:00.005+08:00

I found myself in love with the UFOs "Oohhhh~"from Toy Story.

One couldn't miss the distinct similarities between the UFOs and Mike (from MonsterInc):
1. They are green
2. They are monsters with weird number of eyeballs

I like Cookie Monster too.

Unfortunately, it doesn't has green fur. But the trait of funny eyeballs remains untainted.

*
Yahoo has denied my access to my mail when I signed in and out a couple of times on multiple desktops. It became compromised and prompted me the security questions I set all the way dated back in 2009. I don't have a single clue what silly answers I provided then and they just keep locking me out. Don't mention about the helpdesk and the troubleshoot team, they merely generates SOP replies and wouldn't analyse a tad bit of information I had given.

I have to set up another account before the ultimate day comes when my account in my iPhone gets locked out as well.

*
Aiming for a Taiwan/Hong Kong trip this year. Wouldn't want to break my rendezvous chain with Taiwan since 3 years ago.

Unless, Japan entice me with better offers I couldn't resist.

A holiday. Holly!

*
6 more working days and counting down.

2011-05-16T19:31:00.001+08:00

Life's boring. Death's a quicker way out.

15-05-11'

2011-05-15T12:24:00.002+08:00

Tuesday is Vesak public holiday, hip hip hurray!

That's why I love Singapore for being a multi-national and religion country.

13-05-2011` Pisa in Malaysia?

2011-05-14T19:16:00.003+08:00

I dreamt that Malaysia was building Tower of Pisa. The external were built with glass panals. A construction worker was standing on the rim of the glass window and the glass couldn't withstand his weight and gave way, sending him down over a 100 stories high.

Bad predicament.

07-05-11' GE 2011

2011-05-07T13:36:00.002+08:00

GE fever. Facebook is flooded with videos of different parties gving speech. The stadium thronged with netizens attending the rally. The traffic can be as bad as delays for 2 hours on the roads.

I don't remember such scenes from previous elections. The most heated one since our independence day, as quoted from our Prime Minister. The younger generation of late boomers after 1975 contributed to 30% of the voters, a new era whom votes does not goes based on loyalty but reality. I can sense my dad's fury towards the constant raise in standard of living, I had to bow to the fact too.

Despite all, we can expect who to reign Singapore. GE is a platform for citizens to vent their frustrations towards the political leaders where there will be no other better chances to.

01-05-2011' Resignation

2011-05-01T20:54:00.003+08:00

I have tendered my resignation.

Been having issues with sleep thereafter. Unease, uncertain, disturbed.

At times I woke up at wee hours and struggled real hard only to catch an eye shut for a mere couple of hours before day break.

I wished this had been easier.

21-04-2011` Fatigue.

2011-04-21T22:49:00.002+08:00

My mom asked me, "You've been working late these days. Your colleague resigned right? Did you had a pay raise?"

I said, "No".

My mom can see the fatigue in me. I look dead by Thursday, after 2 consecutive days of full shifts. I wasn't thinking straight while treating my patients. I tried to but I ended up losing my focus. Through mid day, I felt like going home.

There are grieves which should not been told. Till the time I can drop the load off my shoulders.

2011-04-13T00:11:00.003+08:00

Loaded with work schedule this month.

*
I counted I blog about 5 times a month. That's about once a week.

I'm hitting the minimum requirement soon!

*
I need a good pair of shoes. To carry me to all the good places.

A good pair of flats/mule so it'll lift me and my spirits up at work.

11-04-2011` SGD518 to TW via SQ

2011-04-11T19:17:00.002+08:00

The title says it all.

SGD518 to Taiwan via SQ. Minimum 2 to go. Promotion valid till 15 APR 11. Outbound travel period till 20 MAY 11.

ARGH!

10-04-11` Arrival of FFXIII

2011-04-10T23:22:00.004+08:00

Rants cast aside.

I find it a leisure in watching FFXIII rather than playing with console. Saves me the trouble from starting at continuation point and all the cursings when my character dies on me.
*

I'm hoping upon a grand escapade! 4 months into my last vacation and I'm experiencing the withdrawal symptoms. I knew it when I'm losing my concentrations, browsing the airline websites, researching on outlets and constantly updating myself on the currency exchange.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can withstand my surges till November. I've been holding my horses on the periodical airline sales. I can't believe I simply let the deal of flying to Taiwan at SGD488 via SQ slip through my fingers!

I was thinking, maybe a night stay at Sentosa can keep me contented for awhile. Kampong Hut, anyone?

2011-04-05T22:44:00.001+08:00

My mind has come to a standstill.

I'm feeling light-headed since Battle Galantica. Nauseous.

I screamed till I realised it doesn't help at all when you're in mid air. If you fall, that's it of you.

*

27-03-2011' his RCT and avulsed tooth

2011-03-29T01:34:00.003+08:00

I dreamt that he was wearing an orange jersey going up the escalator looking for me. In tears, he gingerly pushed his left incisor which is terribly loose. The incisor detached from the socket. I realized he's seeking for help. I did a mental prep of what I'm supposed to do for avulsion. I called Dr M. Ong and she said she'll rush down from N.Dc to pick him up. Suspected that the mobility is due to root canal for the trauma tooth and its developing a PA lesion that eats up the alveolar bone. ... The story ends abruptly, leaving a bitter taste when I woke up.

Hmm...

28-03-11' contented x complacent

2011-03-28T00:46:00.003+08:00

Being contented= complacent?

If it stands true, to be contented, it contraindicates with drive. Because I would be happy with what I have and not pushing to strive further. If you want to be happy, the basics lies in being contented with what you presently have. Maybe there is a grey zone; maybe there is a balance on the beam. But where am I placed?

I'm trying too hard because I could have live by happily with what I have, the imperfections in life.

2011-03-21T22:40:00.001+08:00

Silence.

What's left to say with I'm rebuked on constantly?

I rest my case.

2011-03-06T13:25:00.001+08:00

I'm plagued by depression, still.

I can't see my future.

*

03-03-2011` Reluctance

2011-03-03T10:14:00.004+08:00

I have 25 messages notices from facebook. 23 of them work-related. It's within a day.

No breather even after official working hours because a reply is expected.

Adhoc duties, replying enquiries is like being 'Auntie Em from the teenage forum' replying and addressing destressed teens. The job is not dedicated, because that would mean you have full control to judge what is appropriate. No, it is indicated, meaning I have to do it and later on tightly scrutinized and heavily amended that it's not my piece anymore. So why, are we doing double work when clearly, in your opinion, I am not up to your standard?

Its only till last week that I learnt we do not have the right to make diagnosis on behalf of doctors. This only looks ugly on the hygienist that we can only SEE what is there, why it could be there, what can be prevented and we're not supposed to say what can be done. We tell them outright that they have a problem but we are not allowed to tell them the solution, apparent to them as though we do not know the solution. Do you see the awkwardness?

What about the biomatrix fingerprint signing in? Huge cooperations used that to track employees signing in and out because they might not see each other by working at different levels. Isn't this overwhelming for a practice with <30 staff? I'd say its a matter of trust in fact. The machine and system will add to the overhead and cost more than paying for OT.

My half day leave is still pending. The numbers of days that we are entitled to but unable to utilize. Then ironically at the end of the year, telling us that they are paying too much for our leave encashment. Because either we don't get to spend or we use our time-offs instead from standing in for each other on your request.

I feel reluctant to go ahead with the massive changes. I feel reluctant to do what I have been doing. I feel reluctant to be awake that I intentionally overdosed myself with drowsy medications.

No doubt about it, depression is setting in.

24-02-2011` deactivation of cbox

2011-02-24T22:08:00.002+08:00

I have removed the cbox since it doesn't serve the function for my friends to leave the messages.

If you're concern or keen to know more, send me a buzz. A reply is guaranteed.

Thanks.

Management,
chl

24-02-2011` Vomits

2011-02-24T21:52:00.002+08:00

Exasperated.

"They're chasing and biting on my tail!"

Aggressive, defensive attacks. Its not a discussion. Merely a lecturing session if the conversation is one way. Scrap the meeting because you're not listening.

*
The sour taste in my mouth.

Gastric juice tastes awful. Gastric refluxes. Self-diagnosed food poisoning. The cramps in my abdomen triggers the red flag in my gastrointestinal condition. I am feeling the dull ache in my stomach/ intestines still. Stomach ulcer? Cancer cells proliferation?

Keeping my fingers crossed.

:/

23-02-2011` Birkenstock from footshopping

2011-02-23T22:39:00.004+08:00

Birkenstock shipped direct from Germany!

My first birkenstock spree from footshopping. I am finally able to have additions to my madrid family since 2009!

Madrid Madreperla Black came in sliver shin had caught me jaw dropped. 'Isn't this supposed to be black?!"

"Please, let it has reasons for me not accepting this. Maybe a defect somewhere or.. I might really have to resort to the uneventual" I took out the left sandal and saw a distinctive scar on the leather belt. Ever had a feeling of your prayers answered? This was exactly how I felt.

I contacted the baumhouse with the attached picture. I am keeping my fingers crossed that they will entertain such complaint, as birkenstock afterall, is a prestiguous german product known for quality and rare for manufacturer defect. I suggested exchanging with another pair of other leather to prevent any chance of recurrence. Within a day, they conceded to my request with no further questions asked. I mean, which other company will compliantly say yes to your request to replace your item worth SGD87 straight? I wouldn't have mind to send back the defective birkenstock for SGD10 shipment charge. I sent another email to them asking if I should send the existing pair back and they said no. Seriously, I wouldn't mind the mark on the birkenstock.

I have a pair of birkens free by sheer chance. Oops!

2011-02-19T19:20:00.000+08:00

Y'know, I ought to remove the cbox tag.

17-02-2011' Vaccinations

2011-02-17T17:52:00.002+08:00

I was browsing through my file and saw my slip of immunization against Hepatitis B was done in 2008. 3 years had since passed after my 3 shots of Hep B vaccination. I have to get the screening done by 2011. This is probably followed by a/series of vaccination.

I do miss the times when vaccination against flu was free- when working under the cosy umbrella of government healthcare sector. Since without the antibodies, I have been infected with flu bugs a couple of times a month.

It is certainly clear to me that my body is flawed and time to boost it up with the jabs.

I'll have to start queuing at the polyclinic with the coughing uncles and loud aunties one fine morning. The luxury of treatment in private clinics comes with a hefty price tag.
*

Valentines 2011

2011-02-15T12:39:00.002+08:00

Love is in the air this Valentines. Couples, flowers, plushies.

I believed the number of dating couples have soared. Look at Joe and you can tell he's busking in happiness!

Congratulations to couples and good luck to singles!

*
I do have to confess that I'm getting used to my curls. I'm actually constantly worried that it's straightening again!

2011-01-29T17:15:00.003+08:00

We've spent alot of time at home. Painting, re-painting, re-painting and re-painting. We will champion the thickest makeup on the wall, seriously. Like any kids who threw/tore their books when they graduated from elementary school, we dump the much tattered rollers with a triumph.

There's much to be done to stow my things away without looking like a mess. I need to work around the storage.

Haven't been getting the quality rest I should be having. Neck and back aches, frequent disturbances in middle of night. CNY break will come in handy to recuperate my ailing body. I hope I will be able to post some pictures up in fb as well. It'd been long overdue. But no point now when all said is not done. I could easily picture myself cutting some slack and laze around on my bed, doing those occasional panda toss, turn and roll.

I am tired. Exhausted. And desperately need some colours.

2011-01-22T20:07:00.004+08:00

I am the sort who would like to be informed of what is going to happen next. Update, forewarn, whatever you call it. This gives me ample time to mentally prepared and cognitively, formalize the reactions. I take it as being respectful.

Fail to plan, plan to fail.

*
Allies/nemesis? I will never be able to phantom why people turned hot and cold within spilt seconds.

I hate my down-to-earth nature- With both arms and legs firmly on the ground as Capricorn, my righteous brain cells refuse to accept any 'soliciting' skills. I can only say that we were not on the same page from starters. I appreciate no cloy please, it's getting obvious fawning over your favorite.

I should take things less seriously. Probably take authorities less seriously until they earn their due respect.

It must be the paintwork. I have inhaled too much vapor. Sorry mum and dad.

2011-01-19T13:19:00.002+08:00

Our fingers were painted white with our latest painting stint. We attempted the ceiling, the roller sent down fine droplets of paint and dotted my fan and vacuum cleaner. A true sign of novice in action. We're more prepared now to conquer the interior walls with the masking tapes and newspapers in place.

*
Shouldn't have tampered with my hair. I'm convinced now that straight hair is for me.

Now the texture just reminds me of wigs! :(

2011-01-17T17:11:00.003+08:00

Renovation works in room. With all furniture removed, I sat in the empty room, feeling like a complete failure as if the furniture were towed away for auction to revive me from bankrupcy.

I can recall the very first time I was fascinated when I heard my own echo in my room- that's when I just moved in. 4 walls, 3 flat mattress with my mom, brother and nothing more. I was feeling scared, knowing that I have to sleep in this foreign place for the coming years. Honestly, I don't like the room initially. The occasional piercing speeding noises of cars and bikes irks me, the shadow of the vehicles casted on my ceiling disturbed my sleep.

Time went by and I grew fondness of where I am staying. Because I have new friends here, and supermarkets and bus terminal are within vicinity.

I felt nostalgic as Cal and I were moving my furniture downstairs. My soft spot was triggered once again. But I told myself, I've gotten the paint and new furniture is coming next week.

Let's look ahead and embrace the future.

10-01-2011` Being 24.

2011-01-10T20:24:00.002+08:00

Statement from a fresh 24 year old.

Had a good birthday celebration. Simple dinner with close friends and an epic movie of hilarious horror show. Random as it is.

Thanks all for the well wishes. I like the messages on smses, posts on wall of facebook, notes and doodles on cards and much thoughts which goes into when buying a gift for me. Appreciated.

*
Second day into my 24th year and I am down with a bad flu. Signs of aging.

My birthday leave wasted as I am bed-ridden almost half of the time. I feel apologetic towards Calvin who made special arrangements for this 'family leave' to be taken.

**
The start of 2011 seems like a trance. I have issues with focusing.

2011-01-07T09:48:00.001+08:00

Mattress and MacBook Pro have blasted off all my bonus. Whats left for for the paint and furniture? Maybe I can work some magic on watercolors and tree branches, haha!

Toyku Hands Transparent umbrella

2011-01-06T13:50:00.004+08:00

When was the last time you cried? The last time i cried badly was when I lost the Tokyu Hands umbrella from Japan. I left it at Chinatown porridge stall and some evil soul took it away.

*
I kept having an urge to scream out loud, "Its gonna be my birthday!'

I don't know why but I feel relatively excited about my birthday this year! I figured that its probably cos' it's a rabbit year and it wouldn't be a rabbit year until 12 years later. And even if it is, 12 years later, I wouldn't be thrilled to celebrate my 36th birthday.

27-12-2010' Bidding goodbye to my playmates of 10years

2010-12-27T23:20:00.003+08:00

I won't be travelling for some time. Have to channel my funds to other uses.

Looking at only an overseas trip for coming 2011. Indeed, it hasn't been easy to make this decision.

*
I have been clearing my room when I came to realize I am actually discarding my childhood memories. Off they go into bags of either 'keep', 'donate', or 'throw'. I told myself, there will be no more 'pending' items and end up being stranded in some unknown corner. It reminds me of 'Toy Story 3' when grown up boy, Andy was clearing his toys while preparing to enter college. He only selected Woody among all toys to company him to school. I feel for my toys, they might be whispering to each other and bidding farewell as I separated them into different trash bags. I feel like a big villain.

I was pretty much torn apart to the point that I turned to ask Calvin, 'Can I don't do this?'. He said, 'Well, it's time to move on right?'

I had to agree. Sigh.

21-12-2010` Back from Japan :)

2010-12-21T17:29:00.001+08:00

Back from Japan! It had been an awesome trip.

:)

Suffered from mild abrasions on the lips due to the freezing weather of 4 degree celsius and wounds on my feet from intensed walking.

I have covered areas which I have yet seen. I have tried skiing and failed terribly, landing my butt planing on the snow for a few metres. I almost lost my railpass valued at $260 and flustered how to make my way around in Japan without the travel amulet that guarantees free JR transport. I wore my retainers for less than 2 hours within 24 hours instead of the stapulated 8 hours of wear per day. I had less than 4 hours of rest continuously for the 5 nights. I have tried the authentic onsen which requires you to strip down to nothing but your bareskin, imagine the cultural shock when I saw women naked, walking at ease in public hotspring.

I have duly rewarded myself for the hard work in 2010 from Omotesando Hills.

I will try to consolidate the pictures and do a write up. Having more than 1000 pictures takes a really long time to sort out.

*
I laugh at myself whenever I thought of my birthday; I kept thinking I was going to celebrate my 23rd birthday this year.

I wish to spend time with my close friends, may it be a simple dinner or gathering. To feel care, concern and loved. A DIY card would be just the ideal gift.

I need a stronger financial backup this year. I am going to groom my room. The pink wooden furniture and single bed mattress for 10 years has to go. I am already a foot into realising my goal with a new king sized mattress. Rest assured all proceeds will be going to the 'groom my room fund' and all contributors will have your pictures will be nicely framed and displayed. It's a way of thanking you and letting you know the importance of you guys in my heart.

10-12-2010` 5 days more to Japan!

2010-12-10T14:38:00.003+08:00

Nex mall has been thronged with heavy human traffic. You wouldn't expect a crowd on a weekday afternoon, would you? But you'll be surprise with what you see in Nex.

I thought it attracts mainly Serangoon residents because its within their precinct, but no, the crowd swarm from the entire North East. A sneak peek at a lucky draw coupon reveals the address of the entree- Hougang Avenue 9. Perhaps the sole consolidation I get is that we don't have to wait and pay to enter the carpark or wait and pay to take a bus to reach the mall.

For the recent nights, my folks are often MIA. I suspect they're hitting the mall, just for a walk or something. My mom and dad loves NTUC and more when its operating 24hours.

I am dying to get the Winnie The Pooh umbrella which comes free with $150 purchase. Grrr! I knew the Capital malls, e.g. Bishan Junction 8 and Tampines Mall had given out Disney Princess umbrellas in the past. But Pooh Bear umbrella is too cute to miss!

*
5 days count down to Japan. Yippie yappie!

05-12-2010` Standard Chartered Marathon

2010-12-07T13:55:00.005+08:00

Standard Chartered Marathon

The 10Km was way longer than I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be a simple loop from The Padang to Marina Bay Sands. It was, except that the loop extended along the ECP expressway.

My first marathon turns out, uh not so nice. I was too used to jog in the night and on flat surfaces that I overestimated my capabilities. Ultimately, I have myself to blame for not been running for the past 3 months. A good 3 months, people.

I felt like dying after hitting the 3km mark. I started walking from 4km, with occasional speed up at down slopes. Calvin has to give up his race in order to stay close to me. Anyone could tell if a sliver medalist in IPPT ends up finishing 10km at 1hr 42mins. Joke noee!

I've gathered much from the race. A 10km finisher medal and bad muscle aches trailed from my shoulders to thighs. Oh, and a blister on my 4th left little toe and arch of my right sole. A better track shoes I promise, and with certainty to wipe off the shame from this year and make Calvin proud.

Runpix analysis from the run:

I am behind 29% of women runners; 23% of women runners aged 20-29.

09-12-2010'

2010-12-03T14:57:00.002+08:00

'And for a moment I thought I could make decisions for myself'

Conceptualized individual. Where's the common consensus?

Sigh.

2010-12-03T14:57:00.001+08:00

There are some days I hate myself to core for not able to do anything right. And today is one of the days.

2010-12-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

How much understanding does it requires before a man is satiated?

*
If you were to ask the ladies to feedback on their beaus, you'll get all girls standing up in unison growling how neglected they were while their guys were transfixed in their video games. Men are unable to multi-task. I'm being lenient in my words by not quoting them as single cell amoeba.

Threat of infidelity. Because the gaze will never stay on me alone. Then it's like a loop, you're trapped by asking yourself, 'What can I do?

2010-12-01T12:55:00.000+08:00

I think I have Asperger's syndrome.

25-11-2010` Nex is open!

2010-11-25T12:43:00.003+08:00

Nex is open!

Texas Chicken, Wendy's, Carls' Junior. The mall is packed no less for a gourment.

The grand opening of Nex will be in early December which explains why only 20% of the tenants are done with the furnishing and lift the shutters for business.

Though the Sky Garden is not yet open for public, one could tilt his head to see the playground items similiar to Vivocity's. Fascinating.

*
Scheduling. Less than 3 weeks to Japan. 18 days to be precise.

It'll be Christmas when we return, which is a mere 4 days away.

Thereafter, New Year in 7 days.

Followed by 8 days to my birthday. Yes folks, I shall start planning!

A chain of events. Calvin, oh you gonna be so busy!

18-11-2010` BCLS

2010-11-23T10:54:00.002+08:00

A backdated entry on my BCLS (CPR).

I thought I remembered my theory and practical but my memory doesn't serve me well. I remembered the wrong things!

Other centres are providing BCLS lessons and certification but SGH IMSE really aced it with their instructors. Modules tested: Infant CPR, Adult CPR and infant, adult choking in conscious or unconscious.

I am exposed to people in all walks of life, different aspects of the healthcare group. Jasmine who is studying in NYP physiotherapy who missed her practical exam in school, a nurse who's certificate was lost and need to re-take (because she doesn't want to pay $30 for re-print and have to attend the full certification), an Indian man with a strong accent, a middle-aged guy who gets anxious easily on practicals. Overall, a colourful mixture of people!

I thought I'm going to be chained in the room till 5pm as stated. Surprise came when we started our test, we were told that each group instructor will choose 2 who are the most outstanding candidates amongst the group of 6. I was chosen together with Jasmine! She breezed through her practical. Awesome for a first-timer and very well puts me at shame. I think she did better than me!

This puts a close for BCLS for the upcoming 2 years. Now, make sure I go for my re-certification in 2012 so I can avoid the full day certification!

2010-11-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

In a moment of fury, a moment of haste, a moment of folly, words leashed ruthlessly, sentences came undone with last few characters hanging loose on the lips. The instant feeling of regret for spitting the words too fast. Anything you would die for to take it back. But all too late.

I'm sorry. :(

2010-10-31T12:40:00.002+08:00

My colleague said I'm very much loved by my boyfriend.

Indeed.

Though there will be times of bickering, disagreements and willfulness, love conquers all. It's an understatement.

28-10-2010` Nex, end 2010.

2010-10-28T01:37:00.002+08:00

Residents of Serangoon, be thrilled!

Nex will be housing major departmental stores, boutiques and restuarants!

Tangs, Isetan, Carls' Junior, Ding Tai Feng, and more.

2010-10-26T19:09:00.003+08:00

去年的今天，我因该笑不出来吧？

那段整转难眠的日子，不再。

*
I adore my friends, Hui Jin, Ximiao, Yingying. Expression of gratitudes or paying tributes to your soul mates don't have to wait till a havoc night or those under the blanket heart-to-heart talk.

**
Advance and grow. What's next? Where will I dock? I'm anticipating.

Ideas of different possibilities have been spouting. Visual Merchandising as the latest. Dolling up the display of Prada along the aisle of malls in Orchard or Marina Bay Sands. Grins, I've gotten my heart pumping. Say, I was never a Maths, Science or Language prodigy to begin with.

I need to prove myself through advance studying of relevant discipline.

Having said, looks like I have to stuck in Dental for a fairly long time.

18-10-2010` Chanel Fund

2010-10-18T10:50:00.004+08:00

Marina Bay Sands is beautiful.

Chanel fund: 0/2250.

I am drifting further away. It'll be eating into negative soon. And what about my MacBook Pro with prospective of my failing Sony Vaio?

I have to work my butt out to churn money, and fast. How?

*
My philandering affair with food has piled 5kg up my body. Devastating.

One should never trust weighing scale from ikea. It gives illusion of well and health. The difference is a staggering 3kg.

**
Stormy weather these days are freaking me out. Bellowed thunder and blinding lightning connecting the worlds. I'm having more disturbing dreams. I wondered if some of the fragments belongs to the memories of the previous lives, for it being too surreal.

Can prophecies be trusted? Only the good, as a default by all mankind.

***

Handle with Care - Jodi Picoult

2010-10-11T11:15:00.003+08:00

Handle with care - Jodi Picoult

Picoult has done it again. The best book I've read since. The story entails on a family with a baby borne with Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI), a mutation of genes that resulted in brittle bones. She was a type II, and was lucky to only suffer 7 broken bones by birth. You'll feel the discrimination that disabilities, the financial constrains her parents encountered, and Amelia, her elder sister who started hating herself because she is normal.

A short life which is vibrant, more worth living compared to mine.

*
Don't take it personal. You can't expect the whole world to like you. You aren't saviour. You cannot please everyone. Even God is not able to, that people goes into different religions'

If I were to forget, please remind me.

27-09-2010` My OPG

2010-09-27T12:12:00.005+08:00

Sorry if you have difficulty understand; this post is dental-related, technical jargons are used.

I had OPG (Full mouth Dental X-Ray) taken.

I have big molars especially lower left and right first molar.

Low sinus floor, which explains the sinus issues I'm experiencing.

I cast the blame of localised bone loss at #14 to my orthodontic treatment.

Suspected decay on the #26 distal but a close up shot of the area with a bitewing doesn't show any radiolucency or signs of decay.

The alignment on my right is not as perfect, evident from the overlapping of the teeth; characterised by a right Class II occlusion.

The biggest discovery- I have rectangular incisor crowns, contrary to my clinical 8x8cm squarish incisors which attribute to the gummy smile (aside from the low maxillary labial frenum, which could very well resulted from the torn I had when I fell in Primary 2 and fractured my front tooth).

The course I went to have taught me ways to diagnose and treatment plan for gummy smile. In this case, I would need a crown lengthening surgery and less likely a maxillary skeletal surgery. Of course, a periodontist or oral surgeon could say better.

I'm seeking options to eradicate this 'gummy issue'. Not anything urgent, but it will always be at the back of my mind.

I don't like my gummy smile. :(

Smile

2010-09-23T11:01:00.003+08:00

Smile, and the world will smile with you.

21-09-2010` What should I do on 10 Oct?

2010-09-21T22:28:00.003+08:00

Actually, I do have a hunch that something is not right. I am a woman afterall, a highly sensitive one. So what are my options?

A)Go one-to-one and have a confrontation
B)Call up and vent my distress
C)Ask around why I'm off the loop
D)Do nothing

I chose the teddy bear approach, D) Do nothing. Along with it comes good and bad. The good, is not to pursue the matter, leave it to rest, feign ignorance. Perhaps they don't mean it, or there could be other reasons. The bad, ultimately I'll feel sour for a long time. It's going to brew and harnest over time and when the day comes, I'll either throw up eveything or give up on the 5 years friendship and adopt the 'can't be bothered' attitude.

Friends embrace you for who you are. I can be a listener; I can hold secrets; I can laugh and cry with you. That is all if you were to be able to see beyond my amoured self. People do things for a reason, I do things for a reason. I can't expect you to understand unless you were to take the path I took but at least, to be empathetic.

If you would have asked, as a gesture of goodwill and involvement, I wouldn't feel this bad. How would you feel if you were the one being left out? How would you feel...

20-09-2010` Ostracized.

2010-09-20T23:51:00.001+08:00

I was contemplating on how to pen this down. Alas.

Its official; I'm being ostracized. Outcast. Anti-social.

Why? I don't bite. :/

2010-09-16T13:41:00.004+08:00

I was in a cab when I realised I was once a regular on the CTE. I was stripped off the priviledge of being driven around and this long stretch of road has since become so unfamiliar. The widening of the lanes, ongoing construction work, relocation of the ERP gantries. I used to remember the different charges for individual gantries. I knew the exit of Havelock road stands the gantry which deal the greatest damage to cashcard; I could have asked the driver to use the Outram exit instead.

It'd not been easy, for this transition. I see, I feel, I know, yet my hands are tied behind my back and I couldn't do anything about it. Just let me rant, for the only thing I can do for myself.

2010-09-13T11:29:00.002+08:00

I dreamt that I died, 2 days back. I'm glad I'm breathing when I woke up. It seems so real. Perhaps insights to life after death, after toying with suicidal thoughts.

I was looking at my corpse. Cold, expressionless. My family was grieving for me. It hurts to see people cry for me, especially my mom. She's taking it hard.

My soul was led to and confined within a space together with other spirits. I was trying so hard to relay dreams to my loved ones, telling them I'm leaving. Or more so, to let them remember me once more. I tried to send images of my past existence to E and F. I saw F happy and aged. I have lived; I don't want to be forgotten.

2010-09-11T10:53:00.002+08:00

It took me a good 7 days to recover from tonsillitis.

Cal has taken great care of me despite my often incompliance and, not to mention the risk for being infected by a walking bacteria warehouse.

Thank you.

2010-09-06T17:54:00.003+08:00

Dinner break on a Monday evening. It's raining and I'm sitting on the bench infront of the bus stop, listening to the symphony nature performs. Kovan Residence is in construction. No matter from which angle, it doesn't appeal to me that each unit cost a whopping $1.2million. Bah! I will think it's the nicest appartment if it is mine.

My throat is still aching from tonsillitis. I did something funny. The child in me whipped out a pen and doodle a big 'TONSILLITIS HURTS!' then strike it off and crashed the paper into a ball. Then hoping the next moment, 'AKADEDABRA! Pooof!' the pain is ward off.

Let your inner child guide you. You'll be amazed.

2010-09-04T18:14:00.003+08:00

What's under that pretty face?

Intellectual attracts me now.

2010-09-02T19:17:00.002+08:00

I'm burning in 38.9 degrees celsius. A lump in my throat and my muscles are aching.

I curled up on my bed, hoping to rest but I'm floating in neither 3 zones. Forced the porridge down for the sole reason of medication. I threw up, afterall.

I dragged my feet to work for the 2 patients in the morning. Being a clinican voids my priviledge of being a patient. Efforts weren't recognized, and I was struck with guilt for leaving early. This doesn't happen when I'm working for the board. The striking difference is meeting your kpi, then do things OTOT; versus expectations to always churn out more. More humanity please. Being in a managerial position requires you to deploy compassion and flexibility. I shouldn't have turned up at all.

2010-09-01T21:34:00.000+08:00

I'm a wrecked doll

Spongebob Pinkpants!

2010-08-22T16:49:00.001+08:00

2010-08-20T18:15:00.002+08:00

2 nights before, I was stranded in the airport, with my luggage withheld by the customs because it was left unattended. The sheriff had to check for my identification before releasing it. Amist of the verification drama, he approached F for certification. I was stunned.

Last night, I was into a sideline at a medical clinic when the misfit of schedule created chaos. Apparently I was AWOL when I didn't know I was supposed to be on duty. F came into the picture to help addressing the issue.

In both instances, F floated in my subscious. Can dreams be planted or plotted? It's scary.

C deserves better. I do know that F does chair a certain position in me, maybe now and thereafter. But I hope the percentage and weightage reduces overtime. I have to eliminate whatever little puny chances of possibility; let's take it as he's married.

2010-08-19T11:09:00.001+08:00

In nich of crisis in my dreams, I dreamt of him.

29/8; 6/9; 11/11

14-08-2010' working woes

2010-08-14T17:32:00.003+08:00

I must say I am pretty much affected by work. Things aren't going well, again. Why do people have to make another person's life difficult? If by speaking up will help in alleviating the situation, by all means go ahead. If no, then why sneak around and report on the sly? Bring it onto the table before snaking to the top. I'm awfully disgusted.

2010-08-12T01:01:00.001+08:00

One day, I hope, to cry like nobody's business and stop pretending to be who I am not. Just give me one day.

Will you?

10-08-2010` 7th month

2010-08-10T15:14:00.004+08:00

It's the Lunar 7th month.

The pendant bestowed to me for protection is missing. Whatever it takes to unearth it.

*
By default; random.

07-08-2010` Tent!

2010-08-08T17:14:00.004+08:00

07-08-2010` Pre-National Day 2010

2010-08-06T10:08:00.003+08:00

Uh, not much of updates hence this space is left stranded.

*
I'm having a 4 days break from work because of the National Day PH. Whee!

**
Scrapbooking is tough work! Count your blessings if you receive one because its 100% D.I.Y, started from scratch with papers, scissors, inks and nothing else!

***
I'm reading 'Time Traveller's Wife' now. If you desperately need some instant vocabulary boost in your English to awe anyone, try hitting on the book. The author is awesome!

****
Isn't it weird for a 23 year old to still undergoing self-identity? I'm confused with my ideal and reality self. I know it serves no point wallowing in self pittance but sometimes, I'm lost in the maze to find myself. Whoever I am not. And who am I to disagree?

27-07-2010` Family affairs

2010-07-27T15:27:00.003+08:00

I will prepare myself to go for next interview.

*
There are issues my family and I don't see eye to eye.

They're desperated to drill their point and I am exasperated to explain to them. To a state I gave up, and believe all efforts are frutile. Like all parents, they don't expect a 'no' and demand absolute obdience.

I am unable to revert who I was 10 years ago, taking 'yes' to everything. I used to be a really good girl. See how these years of suppression has taken me.

I hate the idea they oppose my choice, for whoever it may be. Because what they see is bounded to the superficial level and not whether I am happy. I can't helped but relate it, in a crude way, assessing the ability to support my family.

I deserve better? Maybe. But how many out there is able to tolerate a fiery temper like mine?

Disappointed.

2010-07-26T18:15:00.001+08:00

TVB 通天干探- John Lung x 晶晶!

凤凰四重奏！

*
Inception is not just the best movie of 2010. It's the best movie I've watched. Smart plot outwit the processing capabilities of your brain.

What if the world I'm leading is not reality? I wished, I've been dreaming and the reality froze in November 2009 when I was still happy and full of smiles.

Maybe a headshot or a thud from a push would jolt me up.

I'm waiting.

2010-07-22T00:52:00.001+08:00

Can you tell that something is bothering me even if I didn't say, didn't mention or didn't show a trace?

How well do you read me?

How much do I reveal?

Answers, not always pleasing to the ears.

Happily ever after, I can't see myself leading.

It takes 2 years to love; I would be lucky to escape with a 2 years sentence to unlearn. 365x3-38.

21-07-2010' Facial

2010-07-21T19:30:00.002+08:00

Facial hurts like hell. The pokes, squeezings and swellings. I appreciate my dermatologist and her team for laser and microdermabrasion more.

*
Boring day. Been lazing around like Tarepanda. I haven't been exercising. Excuses, excuses, excuses.

20-07-2010`

2010-07-20T14:05:00.004+08:00

Writer's block.

*
My gaze will still linger at the washing bay, hoping to catch a glimpse of the FIT which was once so familiar.

I would not forget how Calvin said, 'Move on'. I know a part of me is dying to keep the memories alive, refused to deny that I've been loved like nobody else.

I'm sorry.